Thinking versus Feeling

After my daughter was born I was curious to see how playing poker would differ for me, if at all.

To my surprise, I found that the time I spent with her leading up to my recent gameplay urged me to dive more deeply into the aspect of feeling as opposed to thinking.

Spending time with her at this stage in her life has drawn my attention even deeper inwards to recognize how and what exactly I am feeling. I think this happened because she can feel, but largely cannot think - or at the very least cannot express her thoughts coherently. With that said, she does show signs of empathy and being able to interpret how others feel around her, most importantly myself and my wife.

She feels, therefore she is.

So with that said, her heightened response(relatively speaking) to feeling and the acknowledgement that we as humans have the ability to choose how we feel and remain sovereign in our state of being compared to being pushed and pulled by life, seemingly at random, based on ‘outer’ circumstances - has compelled me to pay more attention to feelings generally.

It seems to be a recurring theme in poker that the thinking and feeling faculties seek harmony and synchronization. In so doing, one can continue to expand in their ability to do what feels right, where it is informed and backed by intelligence, logic, and rationality.

As one develops their ability to feel and allows their subconscious to intuitively inform, if not dictate, what is in their best interest at any given moment - we arrive at what I believe flow state largely encompass’s.

Flow is simply an unencumbered state of being where decisions are made seamlessly in accordance with one’s highest and best interests as a result of a frictionless process between inputs and outputs - which is not just effective it’s also very fun.

One challenge that can be encountered in refining this process is to honor the feeling in tandem with the thinking and overcome the conscious bias that fears looking stupid or being wrong. I’m not sure how much this even relates specifically to flow as much as it is a general concept that holds people back and stifles progress.

It’s important to acknowledge that these are simply ego games. It doesn’t make those feelings any less valid but it does mean that there is a need to consciously redirect attention, energy, and focus away from things that don’t matter and towards things that do.

Of course no one relishes the opportunity to be wrong or look stupid, but the point is that if these things happen - so what? The process of self improvement is not always entirely linear and mistakes are often necessary building blocks towards becoming a better version of yourself. 

When you activate your humanity, dare I say - your divinity, in a holistic way, you are utilizing all of your faculties optimally to your benefit. In so doing, you are able to have more creativity, curiosity, insight, intuition, emotional control, clarity of mind, and inner peace/tranquility.

This all really comes down to the harmony of the intelligence of the mind and the intelligence of the heart. The heart already knows all the answers, but the conscious mind may have beliefs that prevent those answers from being perceived clearly - hence the need for alignment and clarity in order to achieve flow and overcome uncertainty & doubt.

When the harmony between heart & mind is achieved, the ‘why’ and the ‘how’ are naturally understood and the right decisions come naturally.

Of the many things I love about poker, despite the fact that I’m aware of the importance of getting into flow and have trained extensively to get into this state of being at all times at the table - I am also very aware of the fact that sometimes I am still challenged by doing so.

It might be early in a session where I haven’t yet locked in or later in a session when I start to feel ungrounded and become too loopy or floaty in my perspective.

Either way, I love that I constantly get pushed in new and exciting ways to deepen my understanding of self. Being given new ways to learn and grow every time I sit down to play poker is one of the true joys of the game. If it were one dimensional and didn’t encourage this sort of self improvement there’s a good chance I would have lost interest a long time ago.

And with that said, I’m excited to see how the rest of the year pans out for me playing while harmonizing my heart & mind, and meeting each experience as the unique, new, and exciting opportunity for growth that it is.